This is best followed with The Narcissist Cure. Which is to be done after you understand the Emotional Transactions of Human Connection.
We are Mirrors. Literally. Human People live and Learn by the Laws of Optic Physics. We are Mirrors. We REFLECT EVERYTHING. We see our Reflection of Past Self in others. We MUST train ourselves to see our Future Self reflected in our Abusers.
My ultimate enemy and abuser was the Uneducated and the Ignorant.
This left a bitterness within me that caused me to project my anger toward the students who sought the knowledge to end their ignorance.
And in so doing, I drove away my students, the ignorant, and the opportunity to defeat and end the ignorance.
Forgive the Ignorant. Forgive the abuser. See yourself in your abuser. Find the Common Denominator between you and your abuser.
See yourself in them. For they see themselves in you. Seek to understand your abuser… and accept your similarities. And then… release the hate. Release the pain. For it is too easy for you to become them.
Stop projecting your resentment onto others for it is the mirror that triggers us. Realize that you are looking in a mirror.
This is Forgiveness.
It is the Perspective Shift from Victim-Abuser to Student-Teacher and then using your Authority by showing them Mercy from your Wrath and Accepting the Lesson that your Abuser is showing YOU the very probably future of your Self IF you do not make the shift from Victim-Abuser to Student-Teacher and LEARN.
And then it is the WISDOM to CHANGE PATHS.
This is Forgiveness.
Resentment and Bitterness is Blame.
Sink into my words with me, Come down the Rabbit Hole with me.
Blame is the, “You did this to me!”
They lack accountability. But you need to NAME what they did to you. Identify it and Understand.
They were Ignorant, and so they abused me. Find the Logical Fallacy.
While their ignorance caused them to abuse me, ignorance was also their lack of awareness of their abuse.
They were not malicious. They did not know what they were doing and the damage it would cause. No one told them.
How can they not know!?
Because they were made ignorant and unaware. They felt bad for what they did to you. Which is why they justify their actions.
Ignorance was your abuser and the victim. Ignorance is the Narcissist. Forgive them. They don’t know what they do. Mercy.
Forgiveness is Mercy.
Gratitude.
Are you ready for this one? Have a seat.
Forgiveness is Mercy.
Forgiveness is Finding Yourself in your Absuser.
Forgiveness is Love/kindness/compassion for your Abuser for they were you before they lost themselves to Resentment and Bitterness.
The Abuser is one of your possible futures. It is the path ahead of the Victim. See your Abuser and KNOW that if you do not choose Forgiveness, then you suffer the same fate as them.
Forgiveness saves you from becoming The Abuser and repeating the behavior, and Paying the Abuse Forward.
The opposite of ForGiveness is ForBitterness.
After Forgiveness comes Gratitude.
“Thank you for allowing me to release this hate so that I may choose a different path. Thank you for letting me turn my Abuser into my teacher by showing me one of my possible futures.
Thank you.”
And so heals and cures, closes and ends the Emotional Transaction of Abuse.
And finally, just like that, you are released.
Follow Up :
This process does send the Individual into the Stages of Grief, which I like to call “Cognitive Core Processing.” It is imperative that you allow the changes to shift in your mind without any interference. Do not try to alter or suppress the logical conclusions that form during this time. Allow the logic to just sort it self out. Learn to observe and watch the Understanding Shift everything into place and let your emotions change, ebb, and flow.
Cry and remember always to seek out your Comfort Zone during this time and become your own mother. Nurture yourself. Self-Compassion. Self-Love. Self-Forgiveness. Mercy. Good luck.