Personal Journals : Rejection Or… Something Else?

I have always struggled with Socializing and People. I am not afraid of Knowledge, Losing Credibility, or Questions. I have already lived entirely without Credibility.

Living Insane then coming back and being revered by some of the greatest minds in this World provides a Perspective — I don’t think anyone has ever seen before. To be revered and also called Insane… Great Minds terrify Small People.

If the Logic, The Math, and the Physics opens a door, you step in and say, “Let’s examine this.”

In short, there is the world we can see and everything else.

There are people who only believe in the world they can see… and nothing else.

That leaves them with a very small world to live in.

If you don’t ask the questions, you never leave the cage.

“What can I learn from this?” is one of my favorite questions. “Show me what I need to learn from this,” is one of my favorite Manifestations.

I am well aware that my ideas, the subjects I study and examine, the concept I weave are not conventional. What has been so hard to explain and live with is the road one must walk to heal, means you can’t go back to what broken your mind to begin with.

And it leaves you caught between the world that breaks your mind and the world that other are too scared to explore. But when you can’t go back, and when you have to grow on, you have no choice but to go where no one dares go before.

And then you know things no one else understands.

You see things no one has before seen.

When Self-Preservation is tied into your lies, you avoid the Truth. But then… how do you ever expect to get better when it’s the Lies that broke you to begin with?

I hated slavery so much that I sought Freedom in every sense of the word. And that meant, bearing my soul, Showing my Mind, Opening my Voice, and saying out to the World, “This is who I am. This is how I feel. This is what I think. This is what I believe. This is Where I belong.”

We live in a world that judges our Logic and Communication Skills without ever taking the time to learn the Sequence or how to Speak.

No one may want me. I have known the greatest Rejection. But at least I don’t wear a Mask and Soak myself in Lies. At least, I am Free.

I would rather live Visible, Seen, Known, Free, and Unwanted than live Invisible, Unseen, Unknown, Enslaved, and Unwanted.

And that makes me the loneliness person in the world. But also… The most Free. And that makes this all worth it.

More and more, it feels like concepts like “Rejection” and “Abandonment” don’t exist at all and are Victimized Assaults we invent to Validate and amplify the Projected Lies we tell ourselves.