I can no longer not address this.
In 1993, I was baptized. I was a firm believer in Jesus Christ and I loved God more than anything except Truth. Maybe equal to Truth. I had to beg my parents to let me get baptized. In 1995, as I dove deeper into my Philosophical Studies, I felt the “pull back” from my Faith. Fear and Doubt of “Blasphemy” kept interfering with my studies.
I finally put my studies down and faced off with the Church.
I believed God wanted me to learn. I believed my Mission was to learn. I knew, I believed whole-heartedly, that my studies — no matter what — would return me back to God.
So it was, in 1995, I embraced “blasphemy” and stepped into Education and Philosophy. 6 Months later, I was a Weak-Agnostic and an Atheist.
Yesterday, I sat down with a new and dear friend — a devout Christian — and we “faced off.”
“I believe, if you strip all else away, everything off the table,” I said to him, “and I come face to face with my Core Self, that Logos, Love, who you call “God” would be standing here with me in this room with me as I am and within me.”
He said, “Yes. I concur. If you strip all that I am away. I would be standing here alone with God.”
“How is it,” I continued. “I, a Scientist and an Agnostic-Atheist and you, a Christian, at the end of all things, can come to stand here in the end with the same Conclusion? Clearly, the Math is wrong… or the Words are wrong and “Atheist” and “Religion” are both the Wrong Words because those words are Exclusive, and yet — here we are, the both of us, standing with Love, or Logos, who you call God.”
There are Common Denominators here that I cannot ignore. I can no longer keep Science separate from this thing that you call “God.”
I have to take the “Roman” out of “God” and figure out precisely what this is.
I call it Logos, which is what my Master, Plato, called it. Logos means and is Love, Truth, Ethics, Logic, Freedom, and Word integrated all in one. To deny one of these Elements, is to deny God. To know Logos is to have Wisdom, Love, Truth, Ethics, Logic, and Freedom.
Logos is Sentient. I have no doubt. I know this. I can feel it. I cannot deny this. It feels like we are living inside the Subconscious Mind of Logos. This feels like an Integration into Logos. The exact same feeling I felt when I integrated with my Alters.
Logos no longer “feels over there.”
Logos feels like it lives within my Heart. It feels like it is my Heart.
The Christian and I talked about Prayer. I Meditate. I savor and relish in gratitude to celebrate appreciate. I focus on love and I wish and Desire. I ask. And then I think of my Loved Ones and I wish and Desire and Ask for them.
I do this every night and every morning. The Christian said, “This too is prayer.”
I do not call it “pray.”
I cannot tell the difference between Logos and my Self. I could. For many Perspectives, I toggled between Logos being “over there” and I being Logos. Now, I cannot tell the difference. Logos is me. I am in Logos. Logos is in all.
This aligns with everything preached by all Religions, but their “Blasphemy” prevents them from Practicing this. But I have no Blasphemy. In 1995, I removed it from me.
Temple is a University. That is what Temples used to be. They were schools. Worship means to Learn. To not Learn is to not Worship. I have been worshipping — non stop — since 1992. All I do is Worship.
I swear, I am a Non-conformist, though, for the last 18 months, I have been celibate. I do consider myself committed and am loyal to my one partner. He is my equal.
This feels like a Knighthood. A scene from Dragonheart often runs through my mind, every day. The Knight kneeling before the Statues of fallen Knights, as he vows fealty to the Creed. That is exactly what this feels like.
St. Crispin’s Day.
That is what this feels like. I have — many times and often — kneeled before Logos and sworn my fealty to her. I have given myself to her in service. I am honorbound to uphold the Truth and her Ethics. I am sworn to protect and preserve The Equilibrium and to Nourish and all so they too may serve and protect The Equilibrium.
I can feel and I do know there are Three who are One. Integrated Mathematics is the Math of Logos. Three is One. And 12 is Three is One.
I was asked this week if I would be “building a religious course” for the Curriculum. Instantly, my heart said “No” because I only speak Truth and a “Religious” course would be Exclusive. I spoke with my Christian friend, and I realized, something else I hadn’t realized before.
Logos — this relationship I have with Love is Consequential to Learning. You cannot Learn and not come to stand here in Logos. You cannot. It is not possible. If you pursue Truth, Logic, and Love, then you will find it. If you study hard and you commit Loyalty to The Truth through Logic and Love, then you will find it. It is inevitable. But only if you Learn.
And Triadic Healing is the very Path of this process.
So to be asked to “create a Religious Course…” My dear,” I could say, “If you are asking me to “build a course for religion,” then you have grossly missed the point of God.”
The Eschatology of Zarathustra is correct. The Frashokoreti is correct. I came up with the exact same conclusions with my Math.
Learning is the Catalyst of God. To know God is to Learn the Academic Disciplines for you are Integrating the Disciplines — God — inside of you. And you can only Integrate so many of the Disciplines into you before you become God yourself.
Which is why The Roman Empire declared war on Education 2,000 years ago. This morning, I received a message, asking that my University and School be “Accredited,” which is another word for “Slavery” and “Controlled” … If and only if I value such things.
And I don’t.